Do Men Really care?
No one can give you happiness….
My Favorite
Half a century and a bit …. mood swings
Some mornings i wake up , on the right side of the bed … but right after i brush my teeth , clean my face , i go into Malef- icent mode. My youngest son , Leo actu- ally asked me , “mom .. even when i breath you can find fault with me.”
i didn’t realize it was that bad until i caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror … and yes God help me , i look wicked !!
after that incident , i slowly and carefully tried “mindfulness” like actually trying to try to catch myself mid attack and pull myself back .
it didn’t work . i will catch myself after the attack has happened.
it got to a point when i threw a small basket of sticky rice at the door then i realized … this isn’t gonna work . i needed real help like medical emergency please.
after a few test , with my wellness doctor .. and a span of 6 months of blood tests , fluctuating hormones , i got better .. Alleluhia . i felt so much better .
The culprit turned out to be my thyroid . I had hypo-thyroidism . Somehow with the “mainstream” doctors , they said my thyroid levels were fine , but with the wellness doctors , i had a very lazy
thyroid . thus making me very angry , ( it differs with people , some get depressed , some get sad ) , i got bloated , i gained weight like crazy , i couldn’t poo , i was tired all the time …. the list goes on .
Once my doctor got the right dosage , the right mix .. i was like a renewed spring chicken !! i felt great , i could go to the loo … i mean if anyone went thru what i did , you will understand how much happier one can be by going to the loo on a daily basis … its like a miracle .
i lost 2 kilos just by taking the vitamins, feel much leaner , no brain fog , no more morning tantrums … n more flying sticky rice .i must say , I’m now a much nicer human being , albeit a silver haired nicer person ..
#silverhairdontcare #silvervixen #halfacenturyandabit#renewedspringchicken
silver vixens and their musings
just a few years ago when the girls got together for our weekly coffee and gossips , most of our conversations will be focused on men, husbands , minor wives , how ungrateful our kids are , how ungrateful our partners were ….
times have changed drastically … now all our conversations are mainly focused on how horrible our bodies have become . we really fight to prove that each of our bodies were worse . my great friend Abby , she insists that she hadn’t gained weight , it’s just she is extremely bloated especially in her face. Beth, has not been eating much but she has massive mood swings …
i mean , she has been biting her mom’s head off … and usually Beth is such the loyal daughter doting on her mom head to feet. myself … i have lost all interest in the opposite sex … much enjoying my time with my dogs .. (from 1 – 9 in the span of just 2
years ). We all had problems and i think we all secretly enjoy bitching about it . Not to mention all of us had thinning hair , greying hair … all over …
Most of our problems can be addressed quite easily by going to a well established wellness doctor. mind you , there are some fantastic quacks out there … honestly when you are in our predicament … one can sell snake oil and tell us it works miracles and we will believe , not because we are gullible , but because menopause is such an ugly truth . we try to push it away , try to hide it , and try to convince ourselves it’s not our bodies going hay wire. We can convince ourselves that we can make it go away by this pill, this medication , .. etc.
There are many ways we can cope with or combat our bodies during this “golden” age . i do wonder who the smart-ass who coined the term , “golden “ . I don’t feel gold at all .. i feel less a women , even less a human . Some days go by that i feel a “presence” following me , by that i mean i could smell something awful following me around … i finally realized after a few sleepless nights , its just my body odor . This menopause thing … made me smell like
trucker .. a trucker on Red Bull and no showers …
i can go on and on … but this is just the
“ golden “ beginning.
#men-paused #silverhairdontcare #silvervixen #50isthenewblack
Run like a hamster on a wheel ..
never give up … never back down , especially when you are going thru
“the golden years” .
i really hate that saying , the golden years .. do they know its the opposite of gold ? let alone golden .
going thru “the change” or menopause is not gold .
its hot , its sticky , its wet , its dry , its mood swings , its all the things us women hate!
I think the person who coined “the golden years” must be male . doesn’t have a wife , or is a male who is 30 years old …
once you hit those dreaded gold years , its a must to keep on doing what you have been doing , like a hamster on the wheel … keep on running.
Exercise is so very important . Don’t strive to do as much as a 40 year old , but do light cardio , walking , swimming, light weight is very important to keep the muscles and bones strong.
eat well , stop smoking . i know its easy to preach … I’m not trying to preach , but smoking is so bad for your skin. if you ladies out there want to look good , minimize risks for wrinkles … stop smoking . Chew gum , chew on something , gossip , drink black coffee … keep active so you won’t smoke .
its bad for your skin , your lips , your teeth … and lord forbid your breath … take pity on your partner , in case you still kiss each other ..
I’m lucky , i just kiss my kids and my fur babies … they can’t complain .
#silverhairdontcare #silvermista #silvervixen #silverbloom #maturewomen #menopaused #50isthenew30 #silvergracefully #nomorehotflushes
Silver Hair , Don’t Care …
finally i gave in … no more coloring my hair , i would just let nature take its course and let it grow ….. silver .
It took a lot of convincing … but the catalyst was that my hair was falling off , plus it was damaged beyond repair . Trust me i tried everything … castor oil ( so thick and yuck) , all types of treatments , expensive hair extensions …
i guess i can’t pretend to be youthful , and embrace being a ‘silver vixen’ as i try to convince myself … it ain’t that bad being half a century old …. just means we have more experience , seen a lot …
I have this phobia … of my own age . I can’t make myself say my age out loud . when i go to the doctor , and they ask my age … i just coyly say , “look at my chart”. or if any friends , acquaintances asks me and i really do have to tell them … i just say my birth year … you do the math .
Friends tell me , Rika you have to be proud , looking like this at your age … be proud , own it . I’m like yeah Beeeyatch , you own up to your wrinkles … I’m not ready to own up to my age …
But now … slowly , I’m actually trying to grow up gracefully . my hair is all silver , gloriously silver … at least it’s healthy , short , grey . Thank God it’s still sort of thick-ish , albeit frizzy .
Its a major overhaul . i have to rethink the way i dress … can’t buy clothes for young adults anymore , it looks garish and vulgar on me now , like i said … group up gracefully .
own it …
therefore instead of writing about how to try to be young … I’m going to try to navigate ‘silver vixen’ with class . finding our way thru this nightmare of hormonal imbalance , estrogen failures , roller coasters of emotions .
follow me for my brand of “silver hair , don’t care “ laughters. #silverhairdontcare
#silverbloom#maturewomen#menopaused#50isthenew30#silvergracefully
Cupping bandwagon
Usually I’m not one to rush into fads nor get obsessed with these new age rituals , but this whole Olympic cupping thing … Well, if it’s the gold medal team , and it’s Phelps .. Something must be going very right .
I’ve seen the marks on celebrities for a few years , Gwyneth being one of the first and foremost making cupping a very celebrated new age or holistic if one may want to categorize it , way to detox .
To be honest I was surfing the net actually for some mindfulness course , seminar , or retreat . I believe that mindfulness is probably the only way I can stop my bad eating habits and my constant weight yo yo .
While happily playing on my laptop , I came across a website for cupping therapy , by a French lady . From my experience , the French are very adept and usually very knowledgeable about whatever alternative ways or service they provide . Such as , my Pilates teacher is French , and she is amazing .
So I made an app to try cupping and moxa . I didn’t do any research on the therapy , usually I will do so much homework on whatever I subject my body to . Somehow , my mind thinks … Phelps and the whole gold medal US swim team cannot be wrong .
I arrived at the “Eden” . It was a very pleasant space , open and comfortable . I sat down and met Mochka . We had quite a long conversation about food , my gut , and possible my muscle ache around my neck and shoulder blade could be caused by my “tight” gut .
I actually liked our conversation a lot . I’ve had these consults before and usually with a medical doctor , they are so forceful and aggressive in their approach . With Mochka , she just nudges and suggests , saying meat is good , ( for me , my blood type and set up ) 2-3 times a week , try to avoid gluten , otherwise it contaminates the intestines … Etc . It’s just the way she calmly and matter of dactyl says it that I have no feeling in me to disagree. With my doctor , they wld say , quit milk , quit banana , etc . And just that makes me rebel .
So that conversation went on for about an hour , she more or less knows what is bothering me , my neck and behind my shoulder blades .
So I got changed , laid down on my stomach and relaxed . The first cup hit my small back and I jolted a bit , more out of surprise that any other sensation . It was a gentle warm th and a gently pulling at first . Then after a few minutes , it got warmer and the pulling got steadily stronger .
Strangely enough , the sensation is weirdly satisfying . I almost could feel the toxins being pulled out of my pores by the pressure . Needless to say when Mochka left the cups in for awhile , I fell asleep . Deep sleep too . Some Chinese alternative medicine practicioners advertise that they can use cupping to get rid of cellulite .. That I’m def going to try out in a few weeks …
Let’s wait till my purple round Mark’s disappear from my back first !
i’m Gen X and proud of it ..(well .. sort of)
Ever since i turned 29. i have been counting my age backwards … no, i don’t look old for my age , on the contrary i think i look “hell damned good” for 29 even bloated, heavily pregnant with my first born . It’s not a social nor cultural thing coz all my friends are very forthcoming with their ages. its just me …
It got worse in my 30’s. i stayed 28 for many years , one year Tatler magazine had a blurb saying i had my “28th” birthday bash … my classmates who were celebrating their 39th bdays were laughing at me. I hated it when my boys started to be adept at math , they were always calling me out on my “mathematical errors .. ” mammee … why is Aunty Koko older than you ? ” and i nonchalantly tilted my head and said ,” why ? Mom IS younger than Aunty Koko …” my 8 year old Leo then pointed out … ” but .. Mammee … when i was born Aunty KoKo was still in her school uniform” … ok kid .. you win .
In my 40’s it got so bad that i couldn’t verbally say my age, when i went to see doctors or when i needed to do official things like passports , etc … i will tell them my birth year and ask them politely to pls do the math themselves and pls don’t say my age out loud …i don’t want to b surprised nor depressed and suicidal . well , it worked for a long while … i stayed 33 for a few more years , until … a few years ago … a girlfriend of mine called me up …
Bea : ” Rika”
Me: ” Yo ”
Bea : “Um … i was just on Facebook …. ”
Me: ” Yea ? and ?? Fresh gossip ??”
Bea : ” You said you were born in ’82 ?”
Me : (voice sounding a bit apprehensive ) … i guess so …
Bea : “someone posted a graduation pic and tagged you … the caption said Class of 82 … ”
Me : ” ohhhhh ….. who was it !!!!! im gonna kill him !!!!”””””
Now in 2016 … I’ve finally made peace with myself …. I still have problems saying the number out loud …. but i dont try to hide the fact . I just call myself .. Gen X … and I AM extra XX … Too bad if you dont know which decade Gen X is from ….
I tried to google .. the fear of verbally saying your age … nothing came up , so I feel like i have the sole right to name this particular brand of phobia ….
dicentes aetatephobia ..
(sort of) Healthy Living
Lots of my friends ask me , rika , you really enjoy working out right ? … Oh , oh boy are you guys so wrong …. I HATE waking up early to go to the gym … I do it with tears simmering inside my eyeballs …
I force myself to go jogging in the late afternoon to burn all those pizza I devoured ( yes eat does not aptly describe what I do to pizza) whilst partial drunk from the vodka red bull drinks …
Why doesn’t people understand that no one is born with an innate love for exercise . Those that proclaim love for exercise …. I point out Pinocchio . I work out 7 days a week … That is not counting the days I wake up hung over like a cat without water . Which is …. Well, not so often lately . Do I love exercise ?? Well, after the exercise I always am so so grateful I somehow bribed myself to come . It always works out well . But …. Getting out of my warm bed , pulling myself out of the couch in the mornings …. It’s very very harsh .
That’s why if I have a teeny tiny excuse to lay off for one day …. It usually end up being a month , maybe 2 … Then I develop this really “cute” pudgy round thing that goes around my upper thighs and upper belly …. Very suitable to be An Indian belly dancer …. Not so suitable if your a single asian female in Bangkok …. Where as I have many times refered to the girls in Bangkok as …. ” girls with no intestines” … I swear , I wear a size M in Bangkok (holding in my breath , and not being able to eat dinner) , where in the US I wear a size XS Nike tight leggings and its loose …
So for those ladies out there who acts like I used to do …. Sit and eat chips out of the bag and watch fitness videos …. Laughing at the girls in the videos ….
Get off your bum and somehow scare yourself into exercising …. Believe me .. The future you will thank yourself for it …
Rika
sweetestrika 