Ever since i turned 29. i have been counting my age backwards … no, i don’t look old for my age , on the contrary i think i look “hell damned good” for 29 even bloated, heavily pregnant with my first born . It’s not a social nor cultural thing coz all my friends are very forthcoming with their ages. its just me …
It got worse in my 30’s. i stayed 28 for many years , one year Tatler magazine had a blurb saying i had my “28th” birthday bash … my classmates who were celebrating their 39th bdays were laughing at me. I hated it when my boys started to be adept at math , they were always calling me out on my “mathematical errors .. ” mammee … why is Aunty Koko older than you ? ” and i nonchalantly tilted my head and said ,” why ? Mom IS younger than Aunty Koko …” my 8 year old Leo then pointed out … ” but .. Mammee … when i was born Aunty KoKo was still in her school uniform” … ok kid .. you win .
In my 40’s it got so bad that i couldn’t verbally say my age, when i went to see doctors or when i needed to do official things like passports , etc … i will tell them my birth year and ask them politely to pls do the math themselves and pls don’t say my age out loud …i don’t want to b surprised nor depressed and suicidal . well , it worked for a long while … i stayed 33 for a few more years , until … a few years ago … a girlfriend of mine called me up …
Bea : ” Rika”
Me: ” Yo ”
Bea : “Um … i was just on Facebook …. ”
Me: ” Yea ? and ?? Fresh gossip ??”
Bea : ” You said you were born in ’82 ?”
Me : (voice sounding a bit apprehensive ) … i guess so …
Bea : “someone posted a graduation pic and tagged you … the caption said Class of 82 … ”
Me : ” ohhhhh ….. who was it !!!!! im gonna kill him !!!!”””””
Now in 2016 … I’ve finally made peace with myself …. I still have problems saying the number out loud …. but i dont try to hide the fact . I just call myself .. Gen X … and I AM extra XX … Too bad if you dont know which decade Gen X is from ….
I tried to google .. the fear of verbally saying your age … nothing came up , so I feel like i have the sole right to name this particular brand of phobia ….
dicentes aetatephobia ..
sweetestrika 